I noted in my work journal yesterday that I have been feeling powerful on the career front. I am loving my clients, and the kind of work I am doing; I feel that my earning potential just keeps growing, and I have a good year of billings forecast that will easily cover my maternity leave period and start building savings into my business; I feel authoritative, confident in my convictions and recommendations and well worth my fee to my clients - I am starting to show them the value of strategic PR, rather than just being a workhorse. New business leads are flowing in easily, and my existing clients are happy.
Over and above all of that, while my cash flow is dodgy right this minute, my tax situation and general health on the financial side is strong. My accountant is nothing short of delighted with me as my first year as a business owner comes to a close. I have re-implemented our household expense budget as well, and have committed to managing it which I think will add real value to our marriage and home life. So I am on a roll with money and work, and am truly feeling my power at this stage of my career. I'm suddenly over that 'imposter' phase that I had a year or two ago and know now that I really have what it takes to have a highly successful business and brand for myself.
What marks the powerful feeling for me though is also the notion of love - just loving what I do and who I work for, loving my lifestyle and freedom as a business owner, loving my vibe and pushing it out generously to those I love. My good career energy has rubbed off in different ways on F, K, J and M during their respective job searches in recent weeks - it feels like I am tapping into the source somehow.
As part of my regular work journalling process I always choose an online angel card and ask for a word from my guides. Sounds weird but I like to add a more intuitive element to a major part of my life which by nature runs the risk of getting a bit 'earthly' and focused on the daily grind a lot of the time. I couldn't believe the messages I received yesterday during my work journal check-in: "The angel of love is with you now" - and his name? Chamuel, or Samuel... Of course! The word that was given was "Miracles" - reinforcing the idea that my pregnancy is part of the greater picture here that is making my positive work energy flow so easily. Cried with recognition and joy at these messages, and felt so affirmed in my brave choice last year to structure my career around family. I can have it all...
On a side note, it also occurred to me that maybe my current sense of confidence on the business side of things stems partially from the extra male hormones circulating in my system at the moment - and this is such a cool trimester of pregnancy, in which I have felt strong and resilient generally. Something to remember and try to maintain in my life - a balancing and harnessing of the healthy masculine energy in me can only be positive. And powerful.
HoneyChild
UPDATE:
Ten minutes after posting the above, I came across this thought:
"You cannot exercise much power without gratitude because it is gratitude that keeps you connected with power."
I give thanks - thanks for all I am receiving and achieving. I know that I am immensely blessed.
HoneyChild
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
February check in
Mommy hormones are on the increase! I'm finding I'm so connected to kids in general and particularly to my little one, who I felt kicking for the first time this morning. At 21 weeks, he is right on schedule, as he has been in all other areas of his development. I am so thankful for this. Fainted in Woolworths the other day (due to low blood pressure or low blood sugar or the very hot day?) and that was a wake up call in terms of really remembering to take care of my health and go easy on my body for the next four months of pregnancy. I'm 2-2.5 kilos up in weight (bearing in mind I lost some at the beginning - that increase is relative to my lowest weight) and am growing a nice bump now. Feels good! Wish I could do a little more exercise without feeling wobbly, but ok for now.
Business-wise new prospects are shaping up nicely and I'm doing good work for my clients - I've had some very nice feedback from them recently. Just need to maintain momentum, not get overwhelmed, and make sure I bill well into May, with some new retainers set up to kick off from September after my maternity break.
I'm worried about R's work pressures and health issues at the moment. He's been in a world of pain following a botched root canal and subsequent tooth extraction, and his back story remains the same. While we're both working hard, he's really burning the candle at both ends trying to keep all his clients happy. I know and appreciate that he's doing this for our family's benefit, but need to find a way to support him meaningfully. I'm incredibly horny at the moment (all the boy hormones floating around in my system?!) but sex is back off track unfortunately. I am trying not to put pressure on him. So hard though, and I know he's stressing about it too. Maybe a weekend away for an early Valentine's treat will balance things out a bit...
Financially I'm feeling the pinch a little but am confident I can increase my salary from March and need to be ok with slow cash flow sometimes - always a downside of owning your own business.
Friendships are feeling good across the board. I had time to connect again with F and J during their overlapping visits last month. The possibility of them both relocating home to SA and specifically CT makes me very happy. It will be wonderful to have J nearby as a close friend who's also a mom. It may make my transition into motherhood that much easier from a social point of view, and also because she'll be happy to give me honest, non-judgmental advice. N and other J remain close and I am relieved that N seems to be surfacing from the hellish depths she's experienced emotionally and spiritually since her incident in India in 2010. I am tremendously lucky to have these strong, smart women in my life and I feel that the decision to wait it out in CT until all my friends started drifting back here has been justified!
On the F note, I do need to make sure I don't get too sucked in to the need to fix her - she must live her life and fight her own battles when she gets back from Aus. I am not prepared to spiral down into her story as I have in the past.
I've been reading 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle - some great spiritual food for thought which I have enjoyed getting my teeth into. Hope this sets the tone for my development and growth on this front for the rest of the year...
HoneyChild
Business-wise new prospects are shaping up nicely and I'm doing good work for my clients - I've had some very nice feedback from them recently. Just need to maintain momentum, not get overwhelmed, and make sure I bill well into May, with some new retainers set up to kick off from September after my maternity break.
I'm worried about R's work pressures and health issues at the moment. He's been in a world of pain following a botched root canal and subsequent tooth extraction, and his back story remains the same. While we're both working hard, he's really burning the candle at both ends trying to keep all his clients happy. I know and appreciate that he's doing this for our family's benefit, but need to find a way to support him meaningfully. I'm incredibly horny at the moment (all the boy hormones floating around in my system?!) but sex is back off track unfortunately. I am trying not to put pressure on him. So hard though, and I know he's stressing about it too. Maybe a weekend away for an early Valentine's treat will balance things out a bit...
Financially I'm feeling the pinch a little but am confident I can increase my salary from March and need to be ok with slow cash flow sometimes - always a downside of owning your own business.
Friendships are feeling good across the board. I had time to connect again with F and J during their overlapping visits last month. The possibility of them both relocating home to SA and specifically CT makes me very happy. It will be wonderful to have J nearby as a close friend who's also a mom. It may make my transition into motherhood that much easier from a social point of view, and also because she'll be happy to give me honest, non-judgmental advice. N and other J remain close and I am relieved that N seems to be surfacing from the hellish depths she's experienced emotionally and spiritually since her incident in India in 2010. I am tremendously lucky to have these strong, smart women in my life and I feel that the decision to wait it out in CT until all my friends started drifting back here has been justified!
On the F note, I do need to make sure I don't get too sucked in to the need to fix her - she must live her life and fight her own battles when she gets back from Aus. I am not prepared to spiral down into her story as I have in the past.
I've been reading 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle - some great spiritual food for thought which I have enjoyed getting my teeth into. Hope this sets the tone for my development and growth on this front for the rest of the year...
HoneyChild
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Thoughts for the new year
We returned home last night after two fantastic weeks away for Christmas with my family at the farm, and New Year with friends.
I feel deeply happy and at peace as I enter 2012. If I consider the changes I was going through from a career planning perspective this time last year, I am relieved to have that turmoil behind me, and immensely proud of myself to have taken control of my own destiny on the work front.
I am rested and revived, which was badly needed by early December, if my last entry was anything to go by.
The highlight of my break was probably being around my parents, who are looking more content and relaxed together than I can ever remember. I thank God for their reunion after what was a four month period of hell for them (and their children) last year. For the first time in my adult life, there were no major blow ups between them over Christmas, and the house was largely peaceful, light and happy. I loved being there and will spend more time with them at home this year, I am certain.
With a grandchild on the way, my folks have reconciled just in time and are genuinely looking forward to this new chapter of their life together. I feel truly blessed to be able to raise our child(ren) with access to that loving home and wonderful farming environment, and really pray that my parents continue to hold things together to enable us to spend frequent holidays with them.
I am coping well with my pregnancy, and enjoying my heightened sexuality in particular at the moment. Weight gain has been slow, and I am confident that I can keep it down to a comfortable level throughout the rest of the second trimester and even into the third. The second trimester is also proving to be less draining than the first, and I enjoyed doing some walking on most days of my holiday, soaking up the sun a little and being outdoors in nature and with our dogs. These are really important to my well-being, I was reminded, and I look forward to spending more time on the farm next year from this point of view as well.
On a new year's resolution note, my one recorded intention from last year was to ensure that my life looked healthier, cleaner and more wholesome on film. Glancing back at photos from 2011, I think I have achieved my goal. Being on an alcohol hiatus over silly season has no doubt helped that too...
I was also keen to reconnect with old friends last year - and I feel I have done that to an extent, not least by attending my school reunion in the UK. I have strengthened existing close friendships across the board over the last 12 months too, so I am pleased about that and I would like to continue to maintain and deepen those important relationships this year. Making time for friends when a baby comes along will certainly be a challenge, but I know it is a critical aspect of my life balance.
For 2012, I resolve the following:
1. I will ensure that my pregnancy is a healthy one, for baby first and foremost, and also for me. This means eating well and consciously, taking the right supplements, exercising gently and enough, putting on the minimum required in terms of acceptable weight gain without being obsessive, while keeping stress levels low and awareness levels high. I will also keep my alcohol consumption down after giving birth - this has been key to how clear headed and healthy I feel at the moment.
2. With my 30th birthday in June, I resolve to get back into shape quickly to ensure that I feel great in my body during this milestone year. My goal will be to take four months to get back to my ideal and maintainable weight and fitness levels (60kg, running 5km with ease) - so that by the time I am a bridesmaid on 6 October, and with the summer approaching, I will be looking and feeling as close to my best again as possible. Achieving this will be linked inextricably to the points I make in resolution 1 - these will prepare me for an easier recovery after birth.
3. As my business is now ticking along nicely, the aim for 2012 will be to maintain and steadily grow, while allowing enough time and a financial cushion to enjoy my later pregnacy and newborn baby. I will refine my client base and up my billings this year. I will also continue my industry education through webinars, courses and networking functions.
Phew - a marathon entry. But 2012 is shaping up brilliantly on all fronts - health, prosperity, career, marriage, friendships, family and opportunities. I give immense thanks for all of this!
HoneyChild
I feel deeply happy and at peace as I enter 2012. If I consider the changes I was going through from a career planning perspective this time last year, I am relieved to have that turmoil behind me, and immensely proud of myself to have taken control of my own destiny on the work front.
I am rested and revived, which was badly needed by early December, if my last entry was anything to go by.
The highlight of my break was probably being around my parents, who are looking more content and relaxed together than I can ever remember. I thank God for their reunion after what was a four month period of hell for them (and their children) last year. For the first time in my adult life, there were no major blow ups between them over Christmas, and the house was largely peaceful, light and happy. I loved being there and will spend more time with them at home this year, I am certain.
With a grandchild on the way, my folks have reconciled just in time and are genuinely looking forward to this new chapter of their life together. I feel truly blessed to be able to raise our child(ren) with access to that loving home and wonderful farming environment, and really pray that my parents continue to hold things together to enable us to spend frequent holidays with them.
I am coping well with my pregnancy, and enjoying my heightened sexuality in particular at the moment. Weight gain has been slow, and I am confident that I can keep it down to a comfortable level throughout the rest of the second trimester and even into the third. The second trimester is also proving to be less draining than the first, and I enjoyed doing some walking on most days of my holiday, soaking up the sun a little and being outdoors in nature and with our dogs. These are really important to my well-being, I was reminded, and I look forward to spending more time on the farm next year from this point of view as well.
On a new year's resolution note, my one recorded intention from last year was to ensure that my life looked healthier, cleaner and more wholesome on film. Glancing back at photos from 2011, I think I have achieved my goal. Being on an alcohol hiatus over silly season has no doubt helped that too...
I was also keen to reconnect with old friends last year - and I feel I have done that to an extent, not least by attending my school reunion in the UK. I have strengthened existing close friendships across the board over the last 12 months too, so I am pleased about that and I would like to continue to maintain and deepen those important relationships this year. Making time for friends when a baby comes along will certainly be a challenge, but I know it is a critical aspect of my life balance.
For 2012, I resolve the following:
1. I will ensure that my pregnancy is a healthy one, for baby first and foremost, and also for me. This means eating well and consciously, taking the right supplements, exercising gently and enough, putting on the minimum required in terms of acceptable weight gain without being obsessive, while keeping stress levels low and awareness levels high. I will also keep my alcohol consumption down after giving birth - this has been key to how clear headed and healthy I feel at the moment.
2. With my 30th birthday in June, I resolve to get back into shape quickly to ensure that I feel great in my body during this milestone year. My goal will be to take four months to get back to my ideal and maintainable weight and fitness levels (60kg, running 5km with ease) - so that by the time I am a bridesmaid on 6 October, and with the summer approaching, I will be looking and feeling as close to my best again as possible. Achieving this will be linked inextricably to the points I make in resolution 1 - these will prepare me for an easier recovery after birth.
3. As my business is now ticking along nicely, the aim for 2012 will be to maintain and steadily grow, while allowing enough time and a financial cushion to enjoy my later pregnacy and newborn baby. I will refine my client base and up my billings this year. I will also continue my industry education through webinars, courses and networking functions.
Phew - a marathon entry. But 2012 is shaping up brilliantly on all fronts - health, prosperity, career, marriage, friendships, family and opportunities. I give immense thanks for all of this!
HoneyChild
Monday, December 5, 2011
Ready to wind down
I am battling to find the motivation to get through my work at the moment, and have a lot to take care of before next weekend (Friday the 16th is a public holiday), when most of my clients will be shutting down for Christmas. I've had a real dip in energy in the last week, with low blood pressure and feeling a bit anaemic. Think it's a pregnancy, second trimester thing, but I haven't been on top form.
I actually think I need a holiday. In some ways, while this year has been less stressful and given me more free time, it's also been very tiring. My career change has taken its toll on me whether I notice it or not day-to-day. And I am adapting to the idea of being a mother, not to mention the physical strain of pregnancy. R has been incredibly busy at work as well, which is a good thing, but he is exhausted. He is overseas for nearly two weeks at the moment, and he is going to be finished when he comes back.
I am looking forward to a break and hope to start the new year with a burst of renewed energy as I hit what is touted as the 'easier' part of my pregnancy, which I am excited about. We are ecstatic that baby is growing healthily, and that we are going to be having a boy. Confirmation of the sex last week really validated my instincts about little bean, who has 'felt' like a boy since day one.
Definite signs of a baby bump, although my weight is holding steady around the 60.5-61 kg mark. Starting to let go of the body change issues, which feels good. I am excited to be a mom!
HoneyChild
I actually think I need a holiday. In some ways, while this year has been less stressful and given me more free time, it's also been very tiring. My career change has taken its toll on me whether I notice it or not day-to-day. And I am adapting to the idea of being a mother, not to mention the physical strain of pregnancy. R has been incredibly busy at work as well, which is a good thing, but he is exhausted. He is overseas for nearly two weeks at the moment, and he is going to be finished when he comes back.
I am looking forward to a break and hope to start the new year with a burst of renewed energy as I hit what is touted as the 'easier' part of my pregnancy, which I am excited about. We are ecstatic that baby is growing healthily, and that we are going to be having a boy. Confirmation of the sex last week really validated my instincts about little bean, who has 'felt' like a boy since day one.
Definite signs of a baby bump, although my weight is holding steady around the 60.5-61 kg mark. Starting to let go of the body change issues, which feels good. I am excited to be a mom!
HoneyChild
Monday, November 21, 2011
Food and entertainment
We enjoyed R's 40th birthday party - I feel I organised it well and was glad it was a success. I was complimented on every aspect of the organisation of the event, and also on my speech, which everyone seemed to love, and my confidence in speaking in public. I think I surprised several people, who do not know that side of me. It felt good to be acknowledged.
I've really enjoyed having R's family here visiting us - his mom and sister are still staying at our house, and his dad was here until the weekend. I think I am good at making people feel welcome and at ease, and as I get older and, I suppose, more established as a wife, I am better at the food/catering side of things as well. It is interesting to me to realise how much I have picked up via osmosis from my own mother when it comes to providing good food for people. I am glad to have had that exposure in my life, even though it was boring to me when I was younger. I am gaining confidence in the kitchen and with my cooking, and am increasingly finding that people actually like eating my food.
On a food note, I am trying to make peace with my changing appetite and gradually more "pregnant" shape. It is a natural, healthy and beautiful part of being a mother and I am not ballooning at a noticeable rate, even though it sometimes feels that way. I've put on about a kilo in the first 11 weeks of pregnancy - and set off against the 1.5-2kg I lost last month, I have actually not gained any weight during the first trimester yet. So I'm doing ok and not looking bad. Far less tired these days too - I'm relieved to have more energy as I've got a lot on the go.
Honey Child
I've really enjoyed having R's family here visiting us - his mom and sister are still staying at our house, and his dad was here until the weekend. I think I am good at making people feel welcome and at ease, and as I get older and, I suppose, more established as a wife, I am better at the food/catering side of things as well. It is interesting to me to realise how much I have picked up via osmosis from my own mother when it comes to providing good food for people. I am glad to have had that exposure in my life, even though it was boring to me when I was younger. I am gaining confidence in the kitchen and with my cooking, and am increasingly finding that people actually like eating my food.
On a food note, I am trying to make peace with my changing appetite and gradually more "pregnant" shape. It is a natural, healthy and beautiful part of being a mother and I am not ballooning at a noticeable rate, even though it sometimes feels that way. I've put on about a kilo in the first 11 weeks of pregnancy - and set off against the 1.5-2kg I lost last month, I have actually not gained any weight during the first trimester yet. So I'm doing ok and not looking bad. Far less tired these days too - I'm relieved to have more energy as I've got a lot on the go.
Honey Child
Monday, November 7, 2011
First trimester concerns
I've been busy over the last week, including the weekend, trying to juggle a lot of client work, learning for Wednesday's exam, planning R's birthday party this weekend and preparing for the arrival of both of our families. We've also had quite a lot of social engagements thrown in, and with three of my close friends needing extra attention for various reasons at the moment, there's plenty on the go.
Ordinarily I think I would be taking most of that in my stride, but I've been feeling so pap and lethargic during the first trimester that I am battling a bit. I've put off my second exam (which I was supposed to write on Friday in the middle of the family's arrival) until January, which has helped to make it all seem a bit more manageable. But I'm fighting hard not to feel overwhelmed.
I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and find some time for exercise as well, because as hard as it is to motivate myself it really does make me look at things differently when I get some fresh air and the heart pumping as often as possible.
Honestly I am also feeling a bit down about my body starting to change shape. I have not gained weight yet but my tummy is definitely rounder and my waist thicker now that i'm into week ten. While the untrained eye wouldn't notice, I can feel the difference and I am not feeling very sexy. Maybe it will change when I actually have a proper bump, rather than just looking bloated?! I know I should be embracing this as a beautiful and natural part of pregnancy. But it's hard, and it's also not something I can share with anyone else without sounding terribly superficial and vain, with all my priorities out of whack. I have set myself healthy but low weight gain targets throughout the nine months, which I really hope I can stick to. It's tempting to get very competitive with other 'hot' moms, and I need to watch that.
It just occurred to me that maybe a little depression is part of the hormonal shift of pregnancy. Will look into that. I hope that the second trimester, with the return of energy I am expecting and wishing for, also brings some more positive feelings for me.
HoneyChild
Ordinarily I think I would be taking most of that in my stride, but I've been feeling so pap and lethargic during the first trimester that I am battling a bit. I've put off my second exam (which I was supposed to write on Friday in the middle of the family's arrival) until January, which has helped to make it all seem a bit more manageable. But I'm fighting hard not to feel overwhelmed.
I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and find some time for exercise as well, because as hard as it is to motivate myself it really does make me look at things differently when I get some fresh air and the heart pumping as often as possible.
Honestly I am also feeling a bit down about my body starting to change shape. I have not gained weight yet but my tummy is definitely rounder and my waist thicker now that i'm into week ten. While the untrained eye wouldn't notice, I can feel the difference and I am not feeling very sexy. Maybe it will change when I actually have a proper bump, rather than just looking bloated?! I know I should be embracing this as a beautiful and natural part of pregnancy. But it's hard, and it's also not something I can share with anyone else without sounding terribly superficial and vain, with all my priorities out of whack. I have set myself healthy but low weight gain targets throughout the nine months, which I really hope I can stick to. It's tempting to get very competitive with other 'hot' moms, and I need to watch that.
It just occurred to me that maybe a little depression is part of the hormonal shift of pregnancy. Will look into that. I hope that the second trimester, with the return of energy I am expecting and wishing for, also brings some more positive feelings for me.
HoneyChild
Monday, October 31, 2011
New structure for November
I'm looking forward to a new month starting tomorrow. I feel it will mark the end of a rather tired, listless and unproductive October. I have to remember to be gentle with myself, and to cut myself a bit of slack during the first trimester. But honestly I'm sick of waking up and being dead to the world in the morning, slobbing around in my pyjamas until late, not eating properly and exercising too little.
I need to crank it from tomorrow with client work and law studies - I've got two papers coming up next week and I have hardly done a thing. I also need to do some new business proposals and ensure I have business lined up for December into February. So I'm going to need to inject some energy boosting habits into my daily regimen.
I've been reading some inspirational health and fitness blogs over the last week, and I feel motivated to get going with a good eating regime, a low impact exercise routine and trying to cut back a little on my sleeping hours. I believe that the 10 hours on average that I am sleeping a night is actually making me more lethargic than a normal 8 hours, and I need to remind myself that I can easily have a rest at midday if I need one.
So, tomorrow morning I aim to be up before 7, try to gulp down a little fruit if I can stomach it, a cup of coffee and water, then get walking for 20 minutes and do some lunges, squats, pushups and ab work before hitting the shower. I want to be at my desk by 8am, crank out a press release by 9am, sort out my emails and hit the phones for a while, and start on a campaign plan before lunch. Between 12-1pm I'll rest if necessary, then will do a little early afternoon study session for an hour, finish my campaign plan and break by 5pm. Study again from 5:30-7:30pm, grab some supper then enjoy a late movie. Aim to be asleep by midnight, then up and at 'em again by 8am on Wednesday.
I know I can do this - just need some more structure in November.
HoneyChild
I need to crank it from tomorrow with client work and law studies - I've got two papers coming up next week and I have hardly done a thing. I also need to do some new business proposals and ensure I have business lined up for December into February. So I'm going to need to inject some energy boosting habits into my daily regimen.
I've been reading some inspirational health and fitness blogs over the last week, and I feel motivated to get going with a good eating regime, a low impact exercise routine and trying to cut back a little on my sleeping hours. I believe that the 10 hours on average that I am sleeping a night is actually making me more lethargic than a normal 8 hours, and I need to remind myself that I can easily have a rest at midday if I need one.
So, tomorrow morning I aim to be up before 7, try to gulp down a little fruit if I can stomach it, a cup of coffee and water, then get walking for 20 minutes and do some lunges, squats, pushups and ab work before hitting the shower. I want to be at my desk by 8am, crank out a press release by 9am, sort out my emails and hit the phones for a while, and start on a campaign plan before lunch. Between 12-1pm I'll rest if necessary, then will do a little early afternoon study session for an hour, finish my campaign plan and break by 5pm. Study again from 5:30-7:30pm, grab some supper then enjoy a late movie. Aim to be asleep by midnight, then up and at 'em again by 8am on Wednesday.
I know I can do this - just need some more structure in November.
HoneyChild
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