Last night R said the most beautiful thing to me after we made love: 'That's what a man needs'.
He said it without any thought, his eyes still closed as his orgasm came to an end, and for possibly the first time in our six year relationship, I saw his true sexual self in that quiet moment.
When he opened his eyes and came back to me, he thanked me for looking beautiful because it made sex so pleasurable. But I think it was the statement before that was more honest. He wasn't referring to how I looked or what I'd done in particular - it was more just an expression of a male craving for unspoken, unrequested, unilateral release with a sexually attractive woman - any woman?
He came with me on top but I'd gone down on him first, and in an interesting way I felt like I'd been guided by the little boy growing inside me. Weird, but not impossible, given the increased sense of masculine energy I'm experiencing. I have never been so turned on giving head, and while I can't be certain I don't think R has ever enjoyed receiving oral sex quite that much - at least not from me.
I didn't say anything at all after his comment, but I got quite tearful - always a sign (for me) that truth is resonating.
HoneyChild
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Blessings
I am battling again with low energy levels as my pregnancy moves into the third trimester. Also been feeling ache-y - like I have growing pains! - as I get bigger. Now around 5kg up, I am still on the lowest end of the weight gain spectrum for 28 weeks, but I am literally feeling my organs and body structure shifting to make space for my growing child. Have been (totally irrationally) irritated by comments from N and J recently about my increasing size and comparison with N's "much smaller" sister who is a few weeks behind me in her pregnancy. But I've decided to make peace with that, and not let it upset me anymore. They mean well, and haven't been through the sensitive pregnant phase yet themselves.
Having quietly celebrated being in business for a year, I have had a run of incredibly busy weeks with work and I really feel like my whole body is reacting to it by being on a temporary go-slow. I have to honour the need to take things a little easier in these later months of pregnancy, but I am increasingly anxious about under-servicing and not delivering for my clients. In its funny way (as usual!), I feel like the universe is warning me against this by presenting one problem after another around our domestic staff. In the last few weeks R and I have had to fire three different people, be patient through the slog of training newcomers, only to be disappointed when they let us down or don't measure up to the task. It's been frustrating - and expensive!
I feel like I need to up my game again for the next two and a half months and produce amazing results for all my clients across the board before I have the baby. So this mid-month mark is my cue to get cracking! At least my travelling around the Western Cape has come to an end for now, and I can work from my own desk more and more until June when I go on maternity leave. This will allow me to rest as required, and be comfortable at home as I continue to expand in the belly department.
Overall, though, I am happy in my pregnancy, and am just needing to find the discipline and energy to keep on keeping on with my work, as well as my studies (I am writing three exams in May). With my mind so occupied with babies, it's difficult to focus on anything else except making sure my house is perfectly orderly and clean - I'm nesting big time!
Worried about my gran, who is not well again. My mom is there looking after her, and it's bizarre to think that exactly a year ago she had her heart problems, my mom and to visit her and my parents were about to have their big bust up. Thank God that's behind us all. Also worried about R's heart - he had funny palpitations the other day, probably from sheer exhaustion, and I really need to keep an eye on his health and support him while he is working so hard.
So, a few concerns and stress points for me at the moment. I need to remember to give thanks for all that is going so well in my life, and all I have to be happy about. I am financially secure, with a great career that is totally in my control. I have a wonderful husband and a most precious child on the way. My immediate family is in good health and happy. I live in a beautiful, safe, pristine environment in the best city in the world. I have a lovely group of very close friends who support me enormously. And now I need to get back to my work!
HoneyChild
Having quietly celebrated being in business for a year, I have had a run of incredibly busy weeks with work and I really feel like my whole body is reacting to it by being on a temporary go-slow. I have to honour the need to take things a little easier in these later months of pregnancy, but I am increasingly anxious about under-servicing and not delivering for my clients. In its funny way (as usual!), I feel like the universe is warning me against this by presenting one problem after another around our domestic staff. In the last few weeks R and I have had to fire three different people, be patient through the slog of training newcomers, only to be disappointed when they let us down or don't measure up to the task. It's been frustrating - and expensive!
I feel like I need to up my game again for the next two and a half months and produce amazing results for all my clients across the board before I have the baby. So this mid-month mark is my cue to get cracking! At least my travelling around the Western Cape has come to an end for now, and I can work from my own desk more and more until June when I go on maternity leave. This will allow me to rest as required, and be comfortable at home as I continue to expand in the belly department.
Overall, though, I am happy in my pregnancy, and am just needing to find the discipline and energy to keep on keeping on with my work, as well as my studies (I am writing three exams in May). With my mind so occupied with babies, it's difficult to focus on anything else except making sure my house is perfectly orderly and clean - I'm nesting big time!
Worried about my gran, who is not well again. My mom is there looking after her, and it's bizarre to think that exactly a year ago she had her heart problems, my mom and to visit her and my parents were about to have their big bust up. Thank God that's behind us all. Also worried about R's heart - he had funny palpitations the other day, probably from sheer exhaustion, and I really need to keep an eye on his health and support him while he is working so hard.
So, a few concerns and stress points for me at the moment. I need to remember to give thanks for all that is going so well in my life, and all I have to be happy about. I am financially secure, with a great career that is totally in my control. I have a wonderful husband and a most precious child on the way. My immediate family is in good health and happy. I live in a beautiful, safe, pristine environment in the best city in the world. I have a lovely group of very close friends who support me enormously. And now I need to get back to my work!
HoneyChild
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