Friday High Five

Happy Friday. Here are my faves for this week.


1. The messy braid - homeless schoolgirl chic. As seen at Alexander McQueen.




2. The spa at The One&Only Cape Town - going there this afternoon for a massage. Can't hardly wait... Here's the link: http://www.oneandonlycapetown.com/Facilities-at-One-and-Only-Cape-Town/Spa-and-Fitness



3. High Constantia Clos Andre Cap Classique - preferably served ice cold by the winemaker, Roger. Amazing.



4. Sarah Britten - this chick is seriously funny. I love her blog on Thought Leader: http://www.thoughtleader.co.za/sarahbritten




5. Boyfriend blazers - in every colour please. This one is from Asos.com...I like.




Have a fabulous weekend.

HoneyChild

Small shifts in growing up

I've always believed that the first time my husband and I host Christmas at our home for our respective parents, we'll really be grown up. I was raised in a household where my mom has regularly cooked the Christmas dinner for the family that often descends upon us at the end of the year. Christmas at home has been almost entirely her responsibility for the 30 years she's been married to my father. And that's pretty grown up.

Having spent the last few days with R's parents who are visiting us from the States, I have been thinking about getting older. More specifically, I've been considering the subtle series of changes that occur which move a child into the adult role while the parents move back into the role of the children. I love both sets of parents to death. But I have noticed that, particularly around R's folks, we are starting to take the role of mom and dad. It's quite amazing how that happens. We direct the conversation, the activities, and the general admin part of things, including the cooking and cleaning. One of these days, my mom and dad will take a back seat around hosting Christmas. And I guess that means that R and I will naturally step up. Guess I'm not a kid anymore.

HoneyChild

Friday High Five

Let's dive straight in, shall we?

1. Peonies - loved these in my wedding bouquet. So pretty and romantic, they were perfect.





2. Chilli hot chocolate - very delish in winter, with a spicy little kick.



Click here for a recipe:

http://coffeetea.about.com/od/chocolaterecipes/r/aztecchoc.htm



3. 'Somebody to Love' by Nelly Furtado - bonus track on her 2006 album Loose which I've rediscovered. Huge Latin vibe has been keeping me warm all week.




4. 'A Million Miles from Normal' by Paige Nick - can't put it down, and I keep laughing out loud.




Check out Paige's blog:

http://amillionmilesfromnormal.blogspot.com/



5. Cafe Roux in Noordhoek - going there for lunch (again) this weekend. Dig the live music on Sundays.



They have a yummy menu too:
http://www.caferoux.co.za/caferoux_menu.html

Enjoy the weekend.

HoneyChild

Standing up

I seem to have a problem with authority. Not in the sense that I don’t like authority. Rather, because I find it painfully difficult to say no to those who are (or at least who I perceive to be) in a position of greater power. I definitely inherited a sizeable dose of good girl mentality from my mother, and my traditional schooling instilled a healthy (at times unhealthy) respect for my seniors. As a fully grown woman, I still struggle to stand up for myself when I don’t agree with what my boss, senior colleagues, older family members and some of my more demanding friends ask of me. And it’s becoming a frustration.

I need to learn how to speak out confidently when I’m being mistreated, and not to stew about it and then let it slide, as I tend to do. It’s a big part of my growing up process, I know. My mom has only recently started to tell people where to shove it when she feels she’s being taken advantage of. That took her more than 50 years. I need to master that ability (which ironically my father and sister have in spades) a lot sooner. Like, by my 30th birthday. Must practise.


HoneyChild

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S.A.D.ness

Feel flat. Moody. No energy. Want to eat, not move. Can hardly string a sentence. Together. Hate this weather.

I know that I experience a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder every autumn leading into winter. I realised how much I rely on the sun to keep me buoyant when I moved back to South Africa after many years at boarding school in England. I discovered that the great summers in Cape Town could keep me happy for several months of the year, but even so, the change of season and the onset of Cape winter rain (combined with thought of the looming exam period as a student) have always managed to get me down.

And the wintry weather we’ve had for the last two days seems to have brought on the S.A.D. again. R pointed it out to me last night – he hates this time of year too, but only because of what it does to me. He gets excited about red wine and weekends away without cricket commitments. I get irritable, depressed and painful to live with. Oh dear, I’ve got to find a way to overcome my urge to stay in bed all day and hide from the world when I’m feeling like this. So lifeless. Any suggestions?

HoneyChild

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Friday Favourites

I think Friday is a good day to lighten things up a bit, so I present…the first Friday high five list of things I just well, dig.

1. Serena hair – perfect for autumn, n’est ce pas?




2. Kitima restaurant in Hout Bay – super stylish, and the aromatic crispy duck pancakes are to die for. You'll need to make a booking: http://www.kitima.co.za/




3. Bobs For Good foundation – Bob Skinstad’s charity. Check out his site:

http://bobsforgood.co.za/tag/bob-skinstad/




4. Mumford and Sons – Little Lion Man is such a killer song.






5. Viggo Mortensen – particularly as Aragon, obviously.





Have a great weekend.

HoneyChild

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Thanks for the music

I can't believe how long it's been since I played a musical instrument. It astounds me that a habit that was so much a part of my life has simply slipped right off my radar. As a teenager, I loved singing and spent hours by myself playing the guitar and the piano. Not to mention the fact that it's been over a year since I bought a CD. I used to spend all my pocket money on new music. I had a collection to be proud of. Now I only possess...old music

Music moves me profoundly. I inherited a great deal of emotional sensitivity to it from my father, who often cries when he hears a beautiful song. (Music and particularly well crafted lyrics are definitely the only things which, in combination, can make dear old Dad drizz.) I have been freshly reminded of this quite amusing predispostion which we share in the last 24 hours.

Yesterday evening I felt the urge to pick up a guitar for the first time in ages. Earlier today while driving, a hit song from five years ago unexpectedly came on the radio, and it suited my rather melancholy mood perfectly. And this afternoon a new band was recommended to me by a surprising source - I listened to one of their songs and it instantly resonated with me.

This little series of events as a signal has made me realise I need to embrace my love of music again and re-integrate it into my life and my identity. Looking forward to it.

HoneyChild

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Trying to decide

A few years ago I received the gift of a channelled reading which I experienced as a stream of beautiful wisdom from my spiritual guides and my higher self. I understood and identified immediately with most of the information revealed to me, but I found one aspect of the reading very surprising. It was an insight about my tendency to be indecisive. Basically I was told that sometimes watching me make even the smallest decision in a grocery store was excruciating! I don’t think I’d ever thought of myself as indecisive before that moment, and I’d never considered that if I was, it may be frustrating to other people.

And yet, several years later, I often think back to that message and it resonates with me. Obviously, it usually happens when I’m in the middle of a decision-making process, as I am now. It’s not particularly helpful either – in fact, it just makes me more self-conscious about my own indecisiveness. But I don’t believe that my intuition would point something out that sharply just to mess with me. So I’m really trying to come to grips with why I have such negative energy around making a call about important stuff. I’m sure it’s largely to do with my need to please others, and not to hurt anyone as a result of my actions.

I can choose pretty quickly when my decision doesn’t affect anyone but me (I’ve never been one of those girls who changes their outfit 10 times before going out, which I’m sure makes me very decisive in some books). But I can weigh up pros and cons for hours when it comes to different kinds of decisions - from life-changing but really very simple choices like whether to go on a first date with someone who would ultimately become my husband (I spent months working out whether that was a good idea – duh) to inconsequential rubbish like what to buy for supper for the husband. Where there’s a chance that someone else can be negatively affected by what I decide, I’m temporarily paralysed.

Intellectually, I can see that’s stupid. Energetically I know that it’s crazy to fixate on the negative that hasn’t yet occurred. And the ridiculous thing is that by deliberating and delaying for so long, I can sometimes hurt people even more.

My horoscope today: This is a session in which you must cultivate positivity and faith because these qualities will easily overcome fear and doubt. Ok, will add that to my to-do list.


HoneyChild

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Pretty funny

Like most women, I’ve experienced my looks and my body differently as I’ve grown up. I was a cute little girl, but no Miss Tinkerbell contender. I had chubby stages, pretty stages, pimply stages, went through a ridiculous string bean phase from the ages of 11-13, and then filled out and grew (a whole lotta) curves in my later teens. I once read a quote that read something along the lines of “You are born with the face you were given, but at 20 you have the face you deserve.” I know that by the age of 20 I had completely grown out of my ugly duckling phase – in fact, it was looking at photos of myself on my 20th birthday that I first saw myself as beautiful.

But I still battled with weight, eating and exercise for several years after that. No moreso, probably, than most girls, and always privately – yet I realise that I was constantly trying to mould myself into the “hottest” version of me. It was all part of life as a single girl, always on the lookout for a cheap ego boost. Looking back, I wasted a lot of time, money and mental energy on all of that. The funny thing is, now that I’m relaxing into my body, getting used to a couple of emerging wrinkles and am confident and secure in my relationship, I get far more unexpected compliments and enquiries about my former modelling career (what?!) from total strangers. Some tasty ones too. Go figure.

HoneyChild

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Maybe later

One of my worst habits is undoubtedly procrastination. I am so annoyed with myself for letting the whole weekend pass me by without even looking at the books. The textbooks for the two long distance courses I'm (supposed to be) taking this semester. The study material I left in full view on the dining room table for three days, unopened. It was the first weekend in a while where I had a full Sunday to myself really to get started and log some serious hours...and attempt to undo the knot in my stomach that is tightening on a daily basis as my exams loom. (Four weeks to go until the first one, and I've literally not touched the subject.) I watched Gossip Girl and went to Caprice instead. Nice work.

This is the behaviour I cultivated so (un)successfully as a student, but you'd think as a married, working woman with a degree under my belt I would have bloody well grown out of it by now. I seem to thrive on the pressure and drama of leaving things until the last minute, and it translates into a lot of aspects of my life. Definitely something to look at, and try to improve.

HoneyChild

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Signs

My grandmother told me that feathers are messages from the angels which protect and guide you. A white feather left for you is a sign that whatever you're thinking or feeling or trying to decide is the right thing.

I received my new job offer yesterday, but the terms of engagement do not amount to what I want. She'd not able to offer me quite enough to make the move worth it for me, and to lose the stability and environment of my current job. I'll counter it for a while, but my heart's not in it. We hosted dinner at home for a dozen work colleagues last night - it was so much fun, and I was reminded that I'm very fortunate to have a social scene like I do at my company. This morning we watched creative work that's come out of the agency in recent weeks. I loved it so much, I cried. Last week our team won industry awards beyond our wildest dreams - I am a member of one of the hottest PR consultancies around. How can I leave all that just to chase the idea of money? The money will come.

I'm sitting at my desk, looking outside at a little white feather which is stuck like glue to the window. I think this is a message to go with my heart, stay for a while.

HoneyChild

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Body talk

Well, it's been 5 months since I returned from honeymoon and I've put on 2-3 kg. Not too bad, I guess, considering I lost some weight from exercising a lot, not eating much and feeling pretty strained before the wedding. But I'm feeling a little uncomfortable in my clothes after the Easter weekend and think it's time for some discipline. Eat less, run more. Or my preferred variation: less lunches, more lunges. Should be back on track by my birthday in June.

Wondering if I should try supplements again. They have been helpful in the past, but can be so expensive. The last time I used them I decided they would only be a weight maintenance aid, not a weight loss tool, and I think that's a good principle. The real work should be done by me, and I do not want to become reliant on anything unsustainable. The beauty of reaching your late 20s is that you realise your body is pretty stable - you don't need to starve yourself or exercise 5 times a week to maintain your fitness and figure. I mean, who can realistically juggle that kind of body pressure once you start having kids and juggling a family with work etc? Again, that would be unsustainable - for me, at least.

On the other hand, you can't only eat junk, drink too much and sit on your butt either, and I've done a fair bit of all of those things in recent months. So I'm cool with that. It's normal and healthy, not obsessive, not lazy. I look forward to a little, private health kick as autumn approaches.

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Saying goodbye

I've said goodbye to my two best friends in the last 24 hours. One is embarking on a two month journey of self-discovery, the other is leaving for longer to work abroad. I'm happy and full of positive anticipation for both of them. Although I'll miss them, I'm not sad to say goodbye. I feel so much at peace about seeing them off on their own private adventures, which I know I'll never fully understand. I know that, because you can't explain those adventures to anyone unless they're travelling with you. Years of living overseas taught me that. I'll be fiercely interested to hear their respective stories, and we'll pick up where we left off as far as our friendship is concerned. But I don't expect to feel and know what they've experienced in my marrow. I know the same is true about my sister's life overseas.

Their uncertainty and unsettled situations make me feel so stable and sure of myself in comparison. Although I'm still waiting to make a decision around my next career move, I'm married, in a lovely home, with great job prospects and children somewhere on the not-too-distant horizon. And I don't rely on their friendship to support me - at least, not anymore. I have my own new unit and new life with R. For the first time, it feels really great and really right to be married. I'm grateful for that.

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