End of September

With September drawing to a close I can look back at the month with some satisfaction. I've definitely had wobbles and worries about work prospects, with not a lot of client action this month. But it's the first time in seven months since starting my company that I've had that concern, and this week I've uncovered opportunities with three or four new clients from October. So feeling in better spirits about that.

I'm going to try not to make this a blog about work though - I have a separate journal for that. But when you work for yourself, it's particularly hard to compartmentalise success in that area as a distinct entity from your general state of being. That reminds me of a channelling I had a few months ago. The message was to try to integrate all aspects of myself, not to categorise and box too much. Because when you are fully 'integrated', you can experience your deepest joy and satisfaction, apparently! Will give that a bash in October :-)

Am really looking forward to having F visiting me from Australia over the weekend. She has been one of my best and closest friends for 10 years, and although we've had our ups and downs, she has been an important part of my adult life - and I hers. I've missed her over the last couple of years, and immmensely so with her living across the globe over the past 18 months. She has been through much heartache in recent weeks and I hope I can help her heal in the way that girlfriends, wine and a few laughs are so able to do, somehow.

All quiet on the baby front. Trying not to feel anxious about that. I'll know this weekend whether the pregnancy efforts for the last month have been successful - but somehow I think and feel... not. Calling in my child still, and staying positive and relaxed about things in that department as far as possible. (Again - the mention of a 'department' - must watch that, and integrate a little more perhaps...)

HoneyChild

Offering support

I’m amazed by how much more settled I feel again. Despite being incredibly stretched at work again (after a few less demanding months earlier this year) I feel totally at peace in the heart of the chaos. I have been rewarded for my decision to stay; my instinct was correct, and that has made me feel confident again.

Now to refocus on other areas of my life, I guess. I’m concerned about some of the people in my life who I’m closest to – my husband and my best friend are both going through a really tough time. I wonder how best to support them. I think I could do more, so am looking for some insight in that regard. I'll keep my eyes and ears open for a little guidance.

HoneyChild

Saying goodbye

I've said goodbye to my two best friends in the last 24 hours. One is embarking on a two month journey of self-discovery, the other is leaving for longer to work abroad. I'm happy and full of positive anticipation for both of them. Although I'll miss them, I'm not sad to say goodbye. I feel so much at peace about seeing them off on their own private adventures, which I know I'll never fully understand. I know that, because you can't explain those adventures to anyone unless they're travelling with you. Years of living overseas taught me that. I'll be fiercely interested to hear their respective stories, and we'll pick up where we left off as far as our friendship is concerned. But I don't expect to feel and know what they've experienced in my marrow. I know the same is true about my sister's life overseas.

Their uncertainty and unsettled situations make me feel so stable and sure of myself in comparison. Although I'm still waiting to make a decision around my next career move, I'm married, in a lovely home, with great job prospects and children somewhere on the not-too-distant horizon. And I don't rely on their friendship to support me - at least, not anymore. I have my own new unit and new life with R. For the first time, it feels really great and really right to be married. I'm grateful for that.

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