Offering support

I’m amazed by how much more settled I feel again. Despite being incredibly stretched at work again (after a few less demanding months earlier this year) I feel totally at peace in the heart of the chaos. I have been rewarded for my decision to stay; my instinct was correct, and that has made me feel confident again.

Now to refocus on other areas of my life, I guess. I’m concerned about some of the people in my life who I’m closest to – my husband and my best friend are both going through a really tough time. I wonder how best to support them. I think I could do more, so am looking for some insight in that regard. I'll keep my eyes and ears open for a little guidance.

HoneyChild

Trying to decide

A few years ago I received the gift of a channelled reading which I experienced as a stream of beautiful wisdom from my spiritual guides and my higher self. I understood and identified immediately with most of the information revealed to me, but I found one aspect of the reading very surprising. It was an insight about my tendency to be indecisive. Basically I was told that sometimes watching me make even the smallest decision in a grocery store was excruciating! I don’t think I’d ever thought of myself as indecisive before that moment, and I’d never considered that if I was, it may be frustrating to other people.

And yet, several years later, I often think back to that message and it resonates with me. Obviously, it usually happens when I’m in the middle of a decision-making process, as I am now. It’s not particularly helpful either – in fact, it just makes me more self-conscious about my own indecisiveness. But I don’t believe that my intuition would point something out that sharply just to mess with me. So I’m really trying to come to grips with why I have such negative energy around making a call about important stuff. I’m sure it’s largely to do with my need to please others, and not to hurt anyone as a result of my actions.

I can choose pretty quickly when my decision doesn’t affect anyone but me (I’ve never been one of those girls who changes their outfit 10 times before going out, which I’m sure makes me very decisive in some books). But I can weigh up pros and cons for hours when it comes to different kinds of decisions - from life-changing but really very simple choices like whether to go on a first date with someone who would ultimately become my husband (I spent months working out whether that was a good idea – duh) to inconsequential rubbish like what to buy for supper for the husband. Where there’s a chance that someone else can be negatively affected by what I decide, I’m temporarily paralysed.

Intellectually, I can see that’s stupid. Energetically I know that it’s crazy to fixate on the negative that hasn’t yet occurred. And the ridiculous thing is that by deliberating and delaying for so long, I can sometimes hurt people even more.

My horoscope today: This is a session in which you must cultivate positivity and faith because these qualities will easily overcome fear and doubt. Ok, will add that to my to-do list.


HoneyChild

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Signs

My grandmother told me that feathers are messages from the angels which protect and guide you. A white feather left for you is a sign that whatever you're thinking or feeling or trying to decide is the right thing.

I received my new job offer yesterday, but the terms of engagement do not amount to what I want. She'd not able to offer me quite enough to make the move worth it for me, and to lose the stability and environment of my current job. I'll counter it for a while, but my heart's not in it. We hosted dinner at home for a dozen work colleagues last night - it was so much fun, and I was reminded that I'm very fortunate to have a social scene like I do at my company. This morning we watched creative work that's come out of the agency in recent weeks. I loved it so much, I cried. Last week our team won industry awards beyond our wildest dreams - I am a member of one of the hottest PR consultancies around. How can I leave all that just to chase the idea of money? The money will come.

I'm sitting at my desk, looking outside at a little white feather which is stuck like glue to the window. I think this is a message to go with my heart, stay for a while.

HoneyChild

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A glimpse from above

Browsing around a book store at lunchtime today, I found myself in the Mind/Body/Soul section (as usual...). And I had a moment of clarity while I was there. I do not want to change my job because I am unhappy at A or because B is much better. I want to change the structure of my job, so that I am more responsible for myself. So that I can do bigger things with my talent. I think that's a natural sign of growing out of one thing and striving to be better. And this little glimpse at my situation from the perspective of my higher self has made me feel peaceful and lighter. I can shape my career, and every aspect of my life, into whatever I want it to be. Glad to be tuning back in to my intuition.

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