Mommy hormones are on the increase! I'm finding I'm so connected to kids in general and particularly to my little one, who I felt kicking for the first time this morning. At 21 weeks, he is right on schedule, as he has been in all other areas of his development. I am so thankful for this. Fainted in Woolworths the other day (due to low blood pressure or low blood sugar or the very hot day?) and that was a wake up call in terms of really remembering to take care of my health and go easy on my body for the next four months of pregnancy. I'm 2-2.5 kilos up in weight (bearing in mind I lost some at the beginning - that increase is relative to my lowest weight) and am growing a nice bump now. Feels good! Wish I could do a little more exercise without feeling wobbly, but ok for now.
Business-wise new prospects are shaping up nicely and I'm doing good work for my clients - I've had some very nice feedback from them recently. Just need to maintain momentum, not get overwhelmed, and make sure I bill well into May, with some new retainers set up to kick off from September after my maternity break.
I'm worried about R's work pressures and health issues at the moment. He's been in a world of pain following a botched root canal and subsequent tooth extraction, and his back story remains the same. While we're both working hard, he's really burning the candle at both ends trying to keep all his clients happy. I know and appreciate that he's doing this for our family's benefit, but need to find a way to support him meaningfully. I'm incredibly horny at the moment (all the boy hormones floating around in my system?!) but sex is back off track unfortunately. I am trying not to put pressure on him. So hard though, and I know he's stressing about it too. Maybe a weekend away for an early Valentine's treat will balance things out a bit...
Financially I'm feeling the pinch a little but am confident I can increase my salary from March and need to be ok with slow cash flow sometimes - always a downside of owning your own business.
Friendships are feeling good across the board. I had time to connect again with F and J during their overlapping visits last month. The possibility of them both relocating home to SA and specifically CT makes me very happy. It will be wonderful to have J nearby as a close friend who's also a mom. It may make my transition into motherhood that much easier from a social point of view, and also because she'll be happy to give me honest, non-judgmental advice. N and other J remain close and I am relieved that N seems to be surfacing from the hellish depths she's experienced emotionally and spiritually since her incident in India in 2010. I am tremendously lucky to have these strong, smart women in my life and I feel that the decision to wait it out in CT until all my friends started drifting back here has been justified!
On the F note, I do need to make sure I don't get too sucked in to the need to fix her - she must live her life and fight her own battles when she gets back from Aus. I am not prepared to spiral down into her story as I have in the past.
I've been reading 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle - some great spiritual food for thought which I have enjoyed getting my teeth into. Hope this sets the tone for my development and growth on this front for the rest of the year...
HoneyChild
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Week 6
Apart from the Springboks' exit from the 2011 Rugby World Cup half an hour ago (bleak), the last week has been nothing but happy. R was beyond ecstatic when he found out on Tuesday - I left the test wrapped in a bow on his side of the bed with a rose and a baby book.
Baby vibes are good - feeling fine as I enter my sixth week, and although I know I may start getting morning sickness at this stage, I have a feeling it will be ok. No signs of nausea yet. Feeling occasional cramps and a little fatigue and teariness here and there but all totally manageable. My breasts are a bit sensitive and slightly larger too. I do have immense faith in my body. My newly 'natural' cycle was so regular within 3 months of coming off the pill, that a pregnancy test was viable as soon as I was one day later than expected. So clever! I did however take another test on Friday just to make sure - still positive :-) I know conception was on 17 September around ovulation, which I'd tracked. I felt the fertilisation as it happened (didn't know that could happen), and we both knew it but didn't want to be over hopeful, given the disappointment of last month. But there was no denying that something was very different that day, and I was visibly overwhelmed with emotions.
We were given our first babygrow by F as she left us to return to Sydney yesterday, and it is sooo cute! It was fun to have her with us - I really miss her and hope she comes back to SA soon. It was incredibly special to share the baby news and excitement with someone who cares so much, and in return it was nice to help her through her heartache and gently support her as she gets back on her feet. Friendship and caring are easy for me and I'm glad to have those qualities. But it also feels good to have that energy returned by all my close friends, who are so happy to hear of my pregnancy. This news has made me realise what a good base of girl friends I actually do have - both old and new - F, N, J, J, M and my former colleagues, who we had a lovely dinner with last night. I have a strong support system, over and above my family and in-laws, and I'm grateful for that. R is also being sweet and concerned. He will be a wonderful dad...and sex seems to be back on track with him on a health kick, so that's fun :-)
Beautiful weather signals the start of summer and I'm feeling sunny. Quite slim and trim at around 61kg and enjoying not drinking as of this week, surprisingly. I think it will suit me better than I thought. Sis has sent me her dietician's chart of how much weight I should gain over the full term - only about 1.5 kg during first trimester, then just under half a kilo for every week thereafter for a total of 11kg. I think that's fine for me - I am tall enough to carry the extra and should lose quite a substantial percentage of that straight after birth. So if I end up at say, 66-67kg that's not too scary. I've been there before and know how to get back to comfortable happy weight without stressing about it.
Dreaming of having a little soul waking me up every morning to love.
HoneyChild
Baby vibes are good - feeling fine as I enter my sixth week, and although I know I may start getting morning sickness at this stage, I have a feeling it will be ok. No signs of nausea yet. Feeling occasional cramps and a little fatigue and teariness here and there but all totally manageable. My breasts are a bit sensitive and slightly larger too. I do have immense faith in my body. My newly 'natural' cycle was so regular within 3 months of coming off the pill, that a pregnancy test was viable as soon as I was one day later than expected. So clever! I did however take another test on Friday just to make sure - still positive :-) I know conception was on 17 September around ovulation, which I'd tracked. I felt the fertilisation as it happened (didn't know that could happen), and we both knew it but didn't want to be over hopeful, given the disappointment of last month. But there was no denying that something was very different that day, and I was visibly overwhelmed with emotions.
We were given our first babygrow by F as she left us to return to Sydney yesterday, and it is sooo cute! It was fun to have her with us - I really miss her and hope she comes back to SA soon. It was incredibly special to share the baby news and excitement with someone who cares so much, and in return it was nice to help her through her heartache and gently support her as she gets back on her feet. Friendship and caring are easy for me and I'm glad to have those qualities. But it also feels good to have that energy returned by all my close friends, who are so happy to hear of my pregnancy. This news has made me realise what a good base of girl friends I actually do have - both old and new - F, N, J, J, M and my former colleagues, who we had a lovely dinner with last night. I have a strong support system, over and above my family and in-laws, and I'm grateful for that. R is also being sweet and concerned. He will be a wonderful dad...and sex seems to be back on track with him on a health kick, so that's fun :-)
Beautiful weather signals the start of summer and I'm feeling sunny. Quite slim and trim at around 61kg and enjoying not drinking as of this week, surprisingly. I think it will suit me better than I thought. Sis has sent me her dietician's chart of how much weight I should gain over the full term - only about 1.5 kg during first trimester, then just under half a kilo for every week thereafter for a total of 11kg. I think that's fine for me - I am tall enough to carry the extra and should lose quite a substantial percentage of that straight after birth. So if I end up at say, 66-67kg that's not too scary. I've been there before and know how to get back to comfortable happy weight without stressing about it.
Dreaming of having a little soul waking me up every morning to love.
HoneyChild
Thursday, September 29, 2011
End of September
With September drawing to a close I can look back at the month with some satisfaction. I've definitely had wobbles and worries about work prospects, with not a lot of client action this month. But it's the first time in seven months since starting my company that I've had that concern, and this week I've uncovered opportunities with three or four new clients from October. So feeling in better spirits about that.
I'm going to try not to make this a blog about work though - I have a separate journal for that. But when you work for yourself, it's particularly hard to compartmentalise success in that area as a distinct entity from your general state of being. That reminds me of a channelling I had a few months ago. The message was to try to integrate all aspects of myself, not to categorise and box too much. Because when you are fully 'integrated', you can experience your deepest joy and satisfaction, apparently! Will give that a bash in October :-)
Am really looking forward to having F visiting me from Australia over the weekend. She has been one of my best and closest friends for 10 years, and although we've had our ups and downs, she has been an important part of my adult life - and I hers. I've missed her over the last couple of years, and immmensely so with her living across the globe over the past 18 months. She has been through much heartache in recent weeks and I hope I can help her heal in the way that girlfriends, wine and a few laughs are so able to do, somehow.
All quiet on the baby front. Trying not to feel anxious about that. I'll know this weekend whether the pregnancy efforts for the last month have been successful - but somehow I think and feel... not. Calling in my child still, and staying positive and relaxed about things in that department as far as possible. (Again - the mention of a 'department' - must watch that, and integrate a little more perhaps...)
HoneyChild
I'm going to try not to make this a blog about work though - I have a separate journal for that. But when you work for yourself, it's particularly hard to compartmentalise success in that area as a distinct entity from your general state of being. That reminds me of a channelling I had a few months ago. The message was to try to integrate all aspects of myself, not to categorise and box too much. Because when you are fully 'integrated', you can experience your deepest joy and satisfaction, apparently! Will give that a bash in October :-)
Am really looking forward to having F visiting me from Australia over the weekend. She has been one of my best and closest friends for 10 years, and although we've had our ups and downs, she has been an important part of my adult life - and I hers. I've missed her over the last couple of years, and immmensely so with her living across the globe over the past 18 months. She has been through much heartache in recent weeks and I hope I can help her heal in the way that girlfriends, wine and a few laughs are so able to do, somehow.
All quiet on the baby front. Trying not to feel anxious about that. I'll know this weekend whether the pregnancy efforts for the last month have been successful - but somehow I think and feel... not. Calling in my child still, and staying positive and relaxed about things in that department as far as possible. (Again - the mention of a 'department' - must watch that, and integrate a little more perhaps...)
HoneyChild
Friday, February 18, 2011
The end of an era
It feels like the end of a mini-era socially at work at the moment. Several of the people who I have been close to have just resigned or are in the process of leaving for greener pastures at the moment. I must say, it makes it easier for me to be leaving at the end of the month too.
Agency life is like that - the cycles are so quick. I'll never forget a former colleague telling me how depressing it was to watch friend after friend resign in quick succession, just because their respectable two year window for working at the company was up. I remember swearing to myself that I wouldn't put myself through that - and wow, from that perspective I'm saying goodbye just in time. I hope to keep in touch with the amazing friends I've made in this job.
I also marvel at how terrible agencies tend to be at retaining staff. Their really good staff included. Surely the system is fundamentally flawed. Oh well, it's not my problem any more - I am relieved to be my own boss from now on.
I'll look back with great fondness, nothing more, nothing less.
HoneyChild
Agency life is like that - the cycles are so quick. I'll never forget a former colleague telling me how depressing it was to watch friend after friend resign in quick succession, just because their respectable two year window for working at the company was up. I remember swearing to myself that I wouldn't put myself through that - and wow, from that perspective I'm saying goodbye just in time. I hope to keep in touch with the amazing friends I've made in this job.
I also marvel at how terrible agencies tend to be at retaining staff. Their really good staff included. Surely the system is fundamentally flawed. Oh well, it's not my problem any more - I am relieved to be my own boss from now on.
I'll look back with great fondness, nothing more, nothing less.
HoneyChild
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