February check in

Mommy hormones are on the increase! I'm finding I'm so connected to kids in general and particularly to my little one, who I felt kicking for the first time this morning. At 21 weeks, he is right on schedule, as he has been in all other areas of his development. I am so thankful for this. Fainted in Woolworths the other day (due to low blood pressure or low blood sugar or the very hot day?) and that was a wake up call in terms of really remembering to take care of my health and go easy on my body for the next four months of pregnancy. I'm 2-2.5 kilos up in weight (bearing in mind I lost some at the beginning - that increase is relative to my lowest weight) and am growing a nice bump now. Feels good! Wish I could do a little more exercise without feeling wobbly, but ok for now.

Business-wise new prospects are shaping up nicely and I'm doing good work for my clients - I've had some very nice feedback from them recently. Just need to maintain momentum, not get overwhelmed, and make sure I bill well into May, with some new retainers set up to kick off from September after my maternity break.

I'm worried about R's work pressures and health issues at the moment. He's been in a world of pain following a botched root canal and subsequent tooth extraction, and his back story remains the same. While we're both working hard, he's really burning the candle at both ends trying to keep all his clients happy. I know and appreciate that he's doing this for our family's benefit, but need to find a way to support him meaningfully. I'm incredibly horny at the moment (all the boy hormones floating around in my system?!) but sex is back off track unfortunately. I am trying not to put pressure on him. So hard though, and I know he's stressing about it too. Maybe a weekend away for an early Valentine's treat will balance things out a bit...

Financially I'm feeling the pinch a little but am confident I can increase my salary from March and need to be ok with slow cash flow sometimes - always a downside of owning your own business.

Friendships are feeling good across the board. I had time to connect again with F and J during their overlapping visits last month. The possibility of them both relocating home to SA and specifically CT makes me very happy. It will be wonderful to have J nearby as a close friend who's also a mom. It may make my transition into motherhood that much easier from a social point of view, and also because she'll be happy to give me honest, non-judgmental advice. N and other J remain close and I am relieved that N seems to be surfacing from the hellish depths she's experienced emotionally and spiritually since her incident in India in 2010. I am tremendously lucky to have these strong, smart women in my life and I feel that the decision to wait it out in CT until all my friends started drifting back here has been justified!
On the F note, I do need to make sure I don't get too sucked in to the need to fix her - she must live her life and fight her own battles when she gets back from Aus. I am not prepared to spiral down into her story as I have in the past.

I've been reading 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle - some great spiritual food for thought which I have enjoyed getting my teeth into. Hope this sets the tone for my development and growth on this front for the rest of the year...

HoneyChild

Messages in the wind

It’s interesting that since I decided make a renewed, conscious effort to tune into my spiritual side, I’ve been given lots of reassurance. I was offered a reading the other day, quite by surprise, from a very intuitive lady who told me I had strong psychic ability.

Yesterday I repeatedly got the message “Everything’s going to be ok” in totally obscure and unexpected places (graffiti, copy in a magazine I seldom read). Wondering what that’s about. I’ve written before about signs from the universe or the angels or whatever… It feels nice to hear from them again!

What I find amusing is that this has all coincided with my starting to run more regularly and making an effort to be outside in the fresh air more. It’s been incredibly windy and that’s been annoying me, but come to think of it, this weekend I was told that God shows him/itself in the wind. So I’ll take the current blustery weather as another encouragement to stay in tune with my concept of god. And as a Gemini, with air as my element, I need to make peace with the wind.

I’m looking forward to going home for Christmas where long, invigorating walks are a daily occurrence and nature is basically all there is. And I’ll keep my eyes and ears and heart open.


HoneyChild

Thinking about my spirituality

My spiritual journey seems to have hit a cul de sac. I think I’m facing in the right direction but I’m not making any progress. My year has been filled with house keeping and career hunting, and I’m starting to feel the spiritual gap. I’m bored with both.

One of my clients is a devout Christian and in every Christmas letter and year-end greeting I draft for him, I have to wish the recipient a ‘spiritually enriching’ Christmas. So I’ve been thinking about how to have one myself.

I know that I operate at my highest levels when my emotional, physical, mental and spiritual aspects are in balance. I’m ok emotionally and mentally at the moment, but I’ve slacked off a bit in the physical realm in 2010. (Admittedly 2009 was a big health and body year – so maybe it’s natural to have a lull there) my spiritual life is non-existent. I want to meditate and observe more. I want to re-establish my connection with nature and the life force surrounding me. I want to be quiet.

So I’m setting that as a goal for this holiday, with the intention of carrying it through into 2011. Peace be with me.

HoneyChild