Loyalty and my inner child

Another challenging, but really good coaching session yesterday. I need to think about having some tough conversations with the people managing me – because my coach feels I am not being allowed to be all that I can be in my job - as much as I love my company - and she believes there are other options for me. Whether I agree with her, and believe as she does, is the hard part to figure out because I am so loyal, and I’ve always trusted that everything will work out ok for me in the end…

Today we examined and questioned the notion of loyalty, and what this means to me. My mom has modelled this for me in her relationship with my father, but sadly this is not a good illustration of healthy loyalty – it is essentially an abusive relationship where loyalty is largely has taken away her power. While the tendency to be loyal is a strong part of my personality, I need to guard against misplaced, unreciprocated or inappropriately fierce loyalty when it comes to certain people and organisations.

We also discussed my inner child, and my need for nurturing, affirmation and protection from the outside world. I need to be able to take care of myself fully, and it’s going to take a little recalibration. Without this, I can never operate at my highest level in any sphere of my life, and it will sabotage my career growth in subtle ways. I need to make sure that before I have my own children, I am operating fully as an adult myself – otherwise I risk transferring all of my needs and wants onto my child.

We’re moving quickly with this coaching process, and I feel like it’s really working well for me – but I do need to check in afterwards and make sure that I don’t make rash decisions while I am still, literally, in process. Journalling, as I have been, has been helpful.


HoneyChild