Life coaching part 2

My second coaching session was a tough one – I have felt shattered for two days. We started talking about how to integrate certain elements of my subordinate ID into my primary ID. In a nut shell, I need to acknowledge some more of the male (rather than just the ‘nice girl’) characteristics from the hidden part of my consciousness and allow them to be acceptable responses to my environment, particularly work and career-related factors.

Once I can do this, the way I show up in my other relationships, like the one with my dad, should also fall into place naturally. We identified a couple of incidents from my younger life which may have created the edge behind which I learnt (and still tend) to hide my voice in conflict situations, and the aspects about me that are not nice, right, obliging and sweet. I am at my core a nice person – I know that. As an adult, I now have to realise that I will always be considered ‘nice’, even when I need to have a hard conversation, or say no. Difficult conversations are merely a platform for discussing the assumptions and opinions of two or more people. I don’t have to think of them as something to fear anymore! Wow, that will be empowering.

We explored the public and the hidden arenas of my own Johari window, and my homework this week is to think about the other two quadrants - my blind arena and my unknown arena. I also have to imagine what I would do if I could do anything for a day, with no consequences – what do I dream for my life? I'll have to know by next Tuesday, I guess.

HoneyChild